lillabey

Lilla often seems overwhelmed by her frustrated efforts to communicate with us. Already, she mimics an impressive number of syllables for her few months. Sometimes she sounds like a little howler monkey, hooting and squeaking and snuffling. Other times she sounds as though she's humming a tune or howling a plea. She hates more than anything to be present for but not included in a conversation. She's fascinated by anyone willing to spend a little time talking to her. She will watch your mouth work and smile her encouragement and, if you leave before she's bored with you, she'll yell at you for being rude enough to interrupt her study of you.

When I think of my own childhood, it is difficult for me to recapture memories from the time before I had begun to know things by their names. I think that the mind must function very differently without language. Language helps assimilate memory and create structure out of chaos. It's the reason we tell stories and sing songs. We link ourselves to our past and to our future through language. It generates our history. So what would life without it?

Lots of poststructuralist literature explores the linguistic theory of prelapsarian language (prelapsarian=before the fall). What names would "Adam" have had for a world where no one understood him? To say that the world was without language before man would be to dispell the rich complexity of whale-song, for instance. But a whale cannot teach a man to speak. Adam is merely a symbol, of course, but the question stands. When did humans begin to articulate in this peculiar way? I feel that I get to witness a little of this process with Lilla. Justin and I are very animated talkers, and we also have a private call-and-answer code that we often use in place of speech when we're on opposite sides of the house. Lilla sits by and takes all of this in, along with the radio or TV background noise and sorts through the sounds. I can't tell her that what she is hearing are tires screaching in an action movie. Or that the cheesy saxophone line in theme song is a wind-instrument made of metal. Although I'm here to comfort her in the midst of the chaos, it is chaos, nonetheless. And she is basically on her own to figure in all out. Strangest of all, she probably won't remember most of her impressions of the world in this mystifying stage.

I wanted to say thank you for all of the gifts that everyone gave us, at the baby shower, throughout my pregnancy and even now. Everyone's generosity has been overwhelming. Especially that of Justin's mom, Cindy. Thanks lady, you're the best!

Some people were curious about my decision to give birth with a midwife at a birthing center (and without drugs) instead of in a hospital. If you're interested or have questions, here are some links on natural birth:

(My midwife): http://www.houstonmidwife.com/index/

www.takebirthback.org/

http://waterbirth.org/spa/index.php

Well, the little one's waking up so I'll finish this later....

Welcome to Lillabey's online journal!

I've created this space to update friends and family on Lillabey's growth and progress (as well as other news with our new family). There isn't much to see right now, but I promise to update once a week at the very least.

Right now all I have posted are pix I took with a computer cam my dad sent me. They aren't great quality, but you get the idea! There are many more pix to come as soon as I get them of of the memory card and onto a disc.